Month 1: Food

The small group I am a part of this semester is pretty crazy. It's challenging me to live more like Christ and less like the average American Christian.

Each month we look at different areas of our lives that need to be simplified. This month we are looking at how food can distract us from the Lord. On the surface, this sounds kind of silly. We need food, right? But I can think of so many times in the past week that I have felt a ridiculous craving for food (and coffee) when I really wasn't that hungry. I don't even think I've ever been realllllly hungry.

I'm learning through all of the professors and friends the Lord has put in my path this semester that it is much more satisfying to hunger and thirst for the Lord, because only He can truly fill me.

One final thought comes from a song we sang this week in chapel. This line never ceases to humble me and fill me with joy:

"Our sins were deeper than the sea; Your grace was deeper still."

Seasons

The Lord has really been teaching me about seasons lately.

It seems like once we enter a new natural season, it takes about a month for us to begin to long for the next season to come around. In the winter, we long for spring to come awaken nature. In the spring we long for summer fun and sun. After a few weeks of Texas heat, we wish for the coolness that comes with October. Then we begin to dream of firesides, snow, and sweaters.

I find myself doing this in the seasons of my life. I wanted to be a teenager. I wanted to drive. I wanted to be in college. I want to be married. Instead of dwelling in the season the Lord has me in, I become consumed with the next season. It is then that I miss the crisp winter air and forget to soak in the sweet fireside fellowship as I long for the newness of spring.

I will never live in this season again. And when this season is over, I must not continue to dwell in it. I must accept each season for its beauty and it woes.

I have been blessed with an opportunity to make much of this season by leading a small group for our campus women's ministry. We will be traveling through a book called 7. This book is about simplifying our lives and find Christ to be our sufficiency - not things.

I am so excited to do this with a community of young women who are convicted by consumerism. I pray that as we clear the material items from our lives that our eyes would be opened wider to Christ.

More information about 7 can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6Fv_w5183g&feature=youtube_gdata_player

School's Out For the Summer...

   I usually wait to write up a new blog until I have something profound to say, but all that's on my mind is SUMMER! I can't wait to spend my days with my favorite boy doing ridiculous things like watching The Legend of Korra (new Airbender series!!) and catching up on as many movies as possible. I want to go to the park, feed the ducks, read for pleasure, swim, and wear a messy bun every day!

   On the other side of my summer anticipation is the utter shock that I have been in college for a whole year already, that I will be 20 this fall, and that, despite my feelings of inadequacy, I'm kind of a grown up. I don't even know how this happened. Wasn't it yesterday that I was a little girl in a plaid skirt jumping rope with my girlfriends? Wasn't it last week that I was laying in my purple room on Albany Drive, soaking up the air conditioner because it was a hundred degrees outside in the El Paso heat? Sometimes, it's as if none of it ever really happened. That place, those people, it was all a lifetime ago. Even high school seems like something so far away. Yet the memory of it is so strong.

   It's a curious thing to know that in only a short while, this time in my life will feel that way, too. Today will be a distant memory, and I will be left wondering if it was ever real at all. But regardless of that feeling, that sense of wonder, I will know. I will know that I was here, just as I know that I was there, too. I know because I am a product of it. That is not to say that my surroundings made me who I am, but without that place and those people, and this place and these people, I could not be who I am.

   Everyday I am closer to who I should be. Everyday I get clearer glimpses of who I need to be. There have been tremendous changes since I began my journey at Dallas Baptist. My passions have grown, yet narrowed. I have discovered my love for sociology and clean water and the pure Gospel. I have a deeper understanding of God's grace and my need for it, I have seen my completeness in Christ, and the way in which I see the world has changed.

   So this summer is more than sunshine and sand. It is an opportunity to take what I have learned over the past year, and to grow, to blossom into something new, something beautiful.

Faithful

   On certain graceful occasions, I am overwhelmed by His faithfulness. I admit, things don't always go my way nor do they have the outcomes I would consider ideal, but I know He is with me every step of the way. I know He has a plan. I know that He works all things together for my good.

 

Every step we are breathing in Your grace 

Evermore we'll be breathing out Your praise 

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Every time I hear that song, I have to let that part sink it.

Every step we are breathing in Your grace.

   I long to inhale the grace of God. To make His grace a part of me, essential to my being. To live in a constant state of awareness of the grace He pours out on me. Every step of the way. 

Evermore we'll be breathing out Your praise

 

   Lord, may I breathe in Your grace that I may forever breathe out Your praise. May everything I do be done in love, and may every breath that leaves this broken vessel be full of Your praises. 

 

To Do

1. Plant a garden
2. Live downtown in a big city
3. Learn what beauty is
4. Be a wife
5. Run a marathon

 Some day I will re-post this list with one change.
The title will be
To Do Done

#2

                Here’s recap of my Valentine’s date with the wonderful Matthew Bay.

               

    He met me downstairs in the lobby of my dorm with two roses. Two because this is our second Valentine’s. One red for tradition and one white because I am “a white girl.”

 

    His gift was a picture frame with lyrics from one of our favorite songs that depict our future, Josh Wilson’s “Always Only You.”

 

  

    Matt had the evening completely planned out, and I knew absolutely nothing.

We had dinner at P.F. Chang’s. It was my first time there, and I was super excited because I’ve only recently discovered my love for Asian cuisine. We each got a cup of soup, we shared a plate of [delicious] calamari, we each got an entrée (sesame chicken for him, sweet and sour for me), and a mini dessert (chocolate raspberry concoction for him, triple chocolate mousse for me)., all of which we ate over candle light.

 

Having time to spare before our next event, we talked in the car for a while then wandered around Arlington Highlands. To our delight, we found the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory. We got two truffles, Amaretto and Iced Cappuccino, and shared them.

Next we headed to Studio Movie Grill to watch The Vow! I was ridiculously impressed that he had chosen this movie. I hadn’t dropped many hints, but thankfully I have a guy who likes chick-flicks and isn’t afraid to say so. It was probably one of the most realistic sappy movies I have seen (probably because it’s a true story), and I loved it!

It’s 24 hours later, and I am still floating from all of the happiness last night brought. I learned a lot about how much I can miss when I worry about making things go smoothly and according to plan. But last night, I had no plan but to let him take me where ever he wanted. My only goal was to enjoy every minute of it, and I did!

I am so looking forward to spending many many many more Valentine’s days and every other kind of day with this man.

                                                I am blessed.

All in All

"I hear the Savior say, 'Thy strength indeed is small. Child of weakness, watch and pray. Find in Me thine All in All.'"
"When this poor lisping, stammering tongue lies silent in the grave, then, in a nobler, sweeter song, I will sing Thy power to save."

Just a couple of lines that have been in my heart this past week. May I learn to look to my Savior for all things and sing of His power for eternity.

7 Days

 "Falling in loving is something. Falling in love is nothing."

Ben Rector makes my heart so happy.
Seriously, he knows how to make some good music.
He makes me think about love and how simple it is to just be with the one I love, how to just be.

Speaking of love, February 14th is only 7 days away. Matt says he knows what we're doing to celebrate Valentine's Day #2. I, however, do not know, and that's that way I like it.

Thank you, Pinterest, for transforming me into a crafty women. One step closer to Proverbs 31. Crafts are in there, right? Either way, I'll post a picture of Matt's Valentine gift if it turns out as wonderful as it is in my head.

"With your eyes so blue,
That the sky in June
May as well be shades of gray,
Well all I know to say is:
Baby, I am never gonna let you go.
Baby, I am telling everyone I know.
Though the storm may come or the wind may blow,
Baby, I am never gonna let you go"

Complete

 "See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ. For in Him all the fullness of Deity dwells in bodily form, and in Him you have been made complete, and He is the head over all rule and authority..."                Colossians 2:8-10

As I suspected, my political science class is giving me much to meditate on, and it isn't federalism.

The professor has made a point on several occasions that really hits me every single time.

He says that even if his wife and four children died, and he was left without them, he would be okay because his completeness is found in Christ. That's a tough statement, but it should absolutely be true.

In relation to my own little world, there's a pretty important man in my life. I am beginning to see that though I love him with so much of my heart and look forward to spending the rest of my days with him, this man does not complete me. I am already complete in Christ. Something a little harder to swallow: I do not complete him. I am not the key to his joy or even his happiness. He is already complete.

The more I contemplate this, the better it sounds. I don't have to bear the pressure of being "the better half" and I don't have to measure him up against a standard that he can never meet. As we each seek to find our completeness in Christ, we can be better love and serve one another and others as two people complete in Christ.

Storm 2012

   I am currently recovering from my very first Disciple Now (Storm) as a small group leader! I had 9 girls in the 8th grade, and what a sweet blessing they were! The weekend was crazy, and I have never been so tired, but I would not trade the past three days for anything!

   I was immediately blessed because I was in 8th grade when I really let Christ take control of my life. I connected with most of the girls by sharing my experiences with dating, God, quiet time, and insecurities that remain the common thread linking girls together. These girls impressed me big time. Their desire to know more and be more for Christ blew me away. From broken homes to family deaths, they have held to one another as well as to the Lord.

   Together, we overcame our fears of rejection as we approached over fifty strangers to ask them if they had any need they would like us to pray for. Even the quietest girl in the group was able to do it. One girl literally bounced over to be exclaiming, "I DID IT! I OVERCAME MY FEAR!" What a blessing!

   There are tons of stories I could share about all the little things God did in our lives this weekend at Storm, but i am content to know He isn't finished with me or those 9 young women from Cana Baptist. He will continue to move and work in our lives through the pain and the sorrow and the tears as well as through the joys and the blessings and the calm.

    Cana girls, I love you so much! Thank you for your open hearts and for letting me into your lives for a few days. I am looking forward to many D-Nows with other wonderful girls like all of you!

Insufficient

"Lord,
I am insufficient in everything I will do today.
I have insufficient wisdom to make the decisions I will be required to make.
I have insufficient strength to resist the temptations I will face.
I have insufficient skills to manage the conflict that may arise.
I have insufficient resources to minister to the people I will encounter.

I am entirely dependent on You."

-Chris Tiegreen, One Year At His Feet

And We're Off!

   My second semester in college has gotten off to an interesting start!

This World Is Not My Home

   For starters, my lovely grandmother passed away January 10. It hasn't completely sunk in yet; nevertheless, I have found it hard to be really sad about it. Don't get me wrong, I was very close to my Mama Jo, but I am so happy for her! She has been longing for a new body and "mansion just over the hilltop" for quite some time, and I cannot be more excited for her, knowing that she is continually in the presence of her Lord and many loved ones who had the joy of getting there first, including my little brother. I am so thankful for the many hours I spent with my grandmother singing hymns, keeping up with the soaps, and watching her read her Bible each and every day.

"I Hate Political Science"

   Wednesday, I walked in to my Government class for the first time. I had heard on ratemyprofessors.com that the professor was absolutely hilarious, so I was secretly pumped for this class. I had no idea what it was exactly I was walking into. This man is so completely awesome. He actually said, "Can I tell you a secret? I hate Political Science." We have something in common. He started by sharing how awesome he is and how it would be our favorite class. Then he shared his testimony of how the Lord brought him out of a really dark lifestyle and led him to his wife who had a similar background. After finding himself making quite a bit of money in a business he and a friend started, the Lord laid it on his heart to stop living extravagantly and start suffering for the sake of the Gospel. After following the Lord's leading, he learned that his son had severe autism and would quite possibly never walk and talk again. He shared the anger he had felt toward God, asking why He would give him a broken child destined to suffer. God's answer was powerful. He said, "This child is not broken. He is fearfully and wonderfully made, and I chose you to be his parent over everyone else in this world." This, among other things, revealed the heart of God to me. In Government class. I have never been so profoundly impacted in any 50 minute period of my life. To say the least, I feel like I will be learning a lot more that the three branches of government this semester!

Powerful Prayers

   This year, I am reading Chris Tiegreen's One Year Wonder of the Cross. Today's reading focused on prayer and its power. I am blessed to have roommate who is honest about her relationship with the Lord and allows me to do the same. She asked if it would be okay if we began praying together each night before we go to bed. I struggle a lot in my prayer walk, so this idea is literally a God-send. As I endeavor to increase the power of my prayers, my devotional reading had some wise and impactful words: Our prayers can bear eternal fruit and influence. It's the single most important activity we can do in the kingdom of God. We need to see ourselves as links between heaven and earth...Pray as though the Kingdom will be shaped by your prayers; Jesus promises that it will.

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Two previous blog posts were written in Tumblr at gracehowgreat.tumblr.com.